|Posted on May 12, 2017 at 7:50 PM||comments (0)|
'A Life Well Lived' I have used that phrase often lately it seems. I was asked what exactly does that mean' A Life Well Lived"
To be honest it caused me to think for a bit, because my standard response would be" it means that this person spent thier time here on earth well, creating positive memories for those who will mourn their passing'
But, as I thought about it more and more my view began to change. You see, I still feel my answer is true but, there is so much more to it than that.
All of our lives unfold, grow, fall apart, love, and hurt differently. So, all of our lives are well lived because we have chosen them and how they unfold. Its what we all agreed to before we arrived. So, yes its important to leave memories and positive impacts as our legacy.
It is also important to leave examples of our courage, challanges, struggles and yes failures because with out them, with out those pivital moments and expiriences we and all who's lives we have touched in some way could never truly appreciate and benefit from our personal journey.
So perhaps my explaination of "A Life well Lived" should be that this person had the courage to arrive in this life, face all that it came with and left a wiser, more fully evolved Soul and because of it others will benefit for having been apart of it all.
For all the Souls who have shared thier journey with me along my path Thank You.. I now carry that knowledge with me to aid me in my challanges and joureny, and if I leave the same for those who I share my journey, then I too will have 'Lived a Life Well Lived'
|Posted on April 3, 2017 at 6:45 PM||comments (0)|
Stay the Path, an interesting saying. What is THE PATH after all? IS it following your heart? Doing whats expected ? Being or becoming the person everyone expects you to be ?
Lots of possible questions and easily as many answers. So I'll share what it has been for me. I have always had this belief that it was my responsibilty to be the peace maker, caregiver, rescuer of family and friends and strangers for that matter. I lived that role for most of my life.
Because I believed that that was my Path, I accepted it and allowed it to be my truth and expierence. You see its a choice, the path is never the same for any of us. How could it be? We are all different people with diffferent circumstances and stories. But, there does seem to be one constant and it is that the path we are on does not have to be the path we remain on. This journey called life is filled with opportunites to make a change in the paths direction every moment of every day. The only thing that keeps on our current path is US.
When we allow ourselves to believe we are limited, trapped, unworthy and so on to justify our lack of courage to change. The path feels long, difficult and empty. Then there are those who believe they are valued, deserving, and able they allow and engage in growth and joy. The paths run side by side and often interconnect it seems. It is at these cross roads that we are given the opportunity to take a look at where and who we are right then. Are we happy? Are we living a life that fills us ?
A life that brings us joy? Often many of us answer; no, not really, but, I Gotta do this because, its all I know or its what everyone expects me to do......blah blah blah or look its not a terrible life I'm ok, its a good enough life.
Why do we allow ourselves to settle for just OK? The path unknown to us can be frightening and challanging but, if the path we do know does not bring us peace and growth and love why do we hold on to it so tightly ? Because, fear is powerful. but, there is a power in being fearless that brings such excitment & growth and freedom!
It took me awhile but, I pulled up my big girl pants and made the change, I was terrified, when I made some of the changes, but, as I look back I realized no matter how afriad I was, my fear of feeling hopeless and joyless was stronger than any other fear. It was my source of courage. So I changed some times slowly, sometimes with a loud leap of faith, and what I found out was some how, some way, I AWAYS landed on my feet on solid ground.
It was in those moments that I asked myself, what was I so afraid of ? And the answer is always the same.. I was afraid of believing that I deserved to be happy and successful and Loved. I was holding myself on a path that I did not need to continue to walk.
Imagine that, all this time I was the one in my own way of my new path.. Seems so simple now, when I am looking back, but, then again it always does.
So my wish for you is this.
Be brave, Get out of your own way.. Take the path unknown and trust that You are as happy as you choose to be.. Own it !
Enjoy your journey..it is your birth right
|Posted on August 18, 2015 at 3:00 PM||comments (0)|
Surprises... they can happen at any given time or place... we all get them.
The fun exciting ones, the ones that warm your heart & bring a smile to your face or laughter to your soul...those we all welcome with open arms.
But, what about the surprises we dont' excpect ? The ones that stop us cold,bring us to a place of fear, leave us lost, what do we do with those?
Those are the Surprises on my mind today. Like all of you there have been unexpected surprisers in my life that have left me in a state of disbelief.. how could this event, situation, THING be happening to me or those I love and sometimes to humanity ?
When I look back from this RearView Mirror ,view point, I see many things. First, is how I responded. Looking back I can see how anger, fear, resentment filled me to the core at times. Other times it was such sorrow I physically ached for myself and those I loved & cared for.
Then there was most often the feeling of being helpless in it all. I found this to be paralysing.
But, was I really helpless ? To change the event, yes...most often we are. but, I had total controle over how I responded and reacted and chose to allow it to effect me..
Now I'm not saying I didn't go to those places of anger, fear, helpessness,sorrow. I did, and how long I chose to stay in the mind set or place was up to me. I have come to find that if I look at the outer rings as I see them of an event , I can always, find something that I can learn & grow from. It may be weeks or months and yes sometimes years before I am ready & able to step back and revisit what ever IT was, and each and every time I see how I was changed because of IT and how I grew from IT.
So, it is from that pespective that I am grateful for the Surprise that gave me an opportunity to learn & grow...
It is from this place that I can release, forgive and heal...
Life's journey is rarely an easy trip.. but, we all can choose how we are going to respond to all that is out of our controle..I choose, to do my best to find something, anything that I can see as an opportunity to grow..
How will you choose to view your "Unexpected Surprises" that challange you ?
|Posted on April 8, 2015 at 11:45 AM||comments (0)|
Change.. a word that brings about every emotion from pure terror to unbridaled excitement. I often wonder how one word or circumstance can evoke such intense and at times parralizing emotions. How often have we all heard the saying 'Change is Good" ? The truth is on a logical level this is true because without change there cannot be forward movemnt or growth. Yet, so often we fight it tooth and nail and until we are dragged into it kicking and screeming.Only to realize when the dust settled we should have made the change long before.
Of course there are those changes that we rejoice in and cant wait for.. weddings, births, new adventures that we WANTED to come about.Those are all easy to enjoy right?
I wonder if we looked at all changes big and small from a prespective or attitude of 'this is awsum, I cant wait to see whats next.' If we would ever again look at change from a place of fear & lack ? Imagine never having to feel that sinking feeling of the uinknown again, how much more enjoyable the process would be.
I have given this a lot of thought lately. This is what I have come to see. Change is nessessary and important, I think it is the fear of the unknown and lack of belief that creates that OH NO now what am I going to do? feeling in many of us. If I hold that to be true then I simply need to honestly look at why I am afraid so, I can understand what is a real reason to be afraid or is it coming from a fear that is not valid. Personally, I have found 90% of the time it is all about what I THINK might happen.There is nothing to justify dragging my feet other than my own self doubt and need to be in control.
Understanding how to break it all down, has given me such courage to go with the challange of the change, viewing it as an opportunity to grow and have new experiences.Now, that doent mean I dont ever have that OH NO ! fear rise up in me. I do, the difference is now I can say, its's ok, I'm going to be ok. and allow myself to embrace the change and take that proverbial leap of faith trusting that I will not crash to the ground, I can and will land on my feet where I am supposed to be. Yes, if I fight the change, some times I will arrive with a few bumps, bruises and maybe a skinned knee but, I will arrive none the less and I can choose to embrace all my new possibities. Its my choice.
So, today, as I write this I am facing many new changes and I am choosing to trust the process and even allow myself to get excited about what is to come. How about you ? Are you ready to go with the flow or are you choosing to continue to dig your heels in and go into your future kicking & screaming?
As for me I'm gonna go with the flow..and enjoy the ride.
|Posted on November 20, 2014 at 3:05 PM||comments (0)|
With the Holiday season fast approaching many of us will impose stressful story lines & expectations on ourselves. The holiday season,I believe, should be about Joy, family ( what ever that looks like for you,it's not always blood relatives), Gratitude, Peace & laughter.. Sadly, many of us buy into the story of bigger is not only better it is EXPECTED! Our minds fill with what we choose to believe is expected of us in regards to time, money, obligations it goes on and on..And in the midst of it we become frustrated, anxious, angry & overwhlemed.. when we should be filled with, excitement, smiles, love warmth, compassion.
This season I am going to focus on what does and should be the most important things, family & friends and above ALL else GRATITUDE!! I am Grateful that we have a warm safe place to gather, that my loved ones, friends, neighbors are safe, that we can share love, laughter, memories and just be together..So many will be without so very much the season due to weather, finances, health issues, situations that are out of their controle.. And still they have faith, focus,determination and a keen sense of what truely is important in this life.
This holiday season lets spend less time & money on gifts for the sake of meeting expectations, ASK yourself.. is there meaning in the gift ? Will it have meaning a year from now or just be something else in the pile ? Instead, consider the gift of time, forgiveness, love, patients, home cooked goods, donations to charities , blood drives, volunteer..
This year lets not feed into the story of you have to spend more than you can afford to have a happy holiday.. Let's go back to basics, when gifts of the simplest kind meant the most because they came from the heart...
Give yourself the gift of less personally imposed stress., don't over spend, don't over schedule, don't judge yourself.
The need of so many will be so great this year.. how will you choose to answer that call ?
May this Holiday season find you in the company of those you Love & bring you Joy...
|Posted on November 20, 2014 at 3:05 PM||comments (0)|
Lately I have noticed that events & emotions from my journey in this life that I quite honestly thought I had "gotten over" or had blocked completely have been knocking on my door.
Some how I think this happens for alot of us this time of year. Maybe because it's that time of year when we start to review what we have or have not accomplished since the last batch of " New Year " resolutions, maybe because the holidays remind us of happy times gone by, maybe because it brings the absence of those we have lost along the way to the forefront of our minds & hearts. What ever the reason behind it, it's there.
So, as I see it I/ We have a choice... I can review things/events with the same mind & emotional set point I had at the time of the event or I can look at from an older more evolved( at least I hope so) point of view.
The old expression hind sight is 20/20 seems to fit these moments for me. There are times when in the midst of emotion, whether its joy or sadness that we are so consumed by it that the emotion is all there is.. reason, logic, the ability to pause and review ALL elude us at that moment in time. We are human and in being such it is in our nature to react first and process second...SO we can't berate ourselves for the in ability to see it clearly when we are in the midst of it. In stead we need to acknowledge the fact that we did the best we could with what what knew at the moment. I know , sounds like an easy way out of taking responsibility for stuff huh ?
That's not my intention at all, we ALWAYS must take responsibility for the events in our lives because we always play a part in the them,sometime just as an innocent by stander or part of the collateral debris field of choices others make for us and around us.
It is our responsibility to CHOOSE how we Allow it to impact us at that moment AND just as importantly in the future. Lately I have been noticing how the events & the stories around them of my past have truly molded my reactions to events of today. I have noticed that some of my old fears & insecurities that I thought I had long since "dealt with" still hold space in my mind & heart. Its funny how we convince ourselves that the past has no place or impact on the future or the present, the total OPPOSITE is actually true. Everything we do, expierence and put belief in about ourselves along the way ALWAYS plays a role on some level in our everyday lives and in doing so, molds our tomorrows.
I have deceided that if I allow myself to be afraid to feel the emotions of the past, what ever they maybe, then those emotions will always hold me hostage. So, I am trying to honestly look at them with the understanding that, I got through them, and that I can find something no matter how seemly small in each event that gave me an opportunity to make choices, and with that option I have power and with power comes healing, confidance, clarity and growth, If I want it and believe that I deserve it.... I don't need anyone else past or present to validate that I am worthy of it, it is my choice to own that knowledge...
So, today I will feel my feelings with courage & be proud of myself for doing so and in that pride I undersatnd I am letting go of ALL that no longer serves me. This is how I honor my lessons of my past & the beautiful life I deserve and the person I am now.
Feeling sadness, anger, fear,loneliness, regret is part of the healing process as long as I balance them with love, joy, laughter,peace & forgiveness I will always be moving forward...
I will take my lessons from my past & pave the road of my tomorrows with their strength,clarity and courage....
How will you allow your past to show up in your life moving forward ?
|Posted on November 20, 2014 at 2:20 PM||comments (0)|
A moment, a second, an instant, a minute.. such seemly small insignificant bits of time.
How often have you looked back on a moment, an instant and thought.. I could have .... I wish I had... If only.. If I could have just one more moment, minute, second.
We are often told that time is fleeting and passes us by quickly, we are also told that life can change in a single moment, sometimes it ushers in incredible joy & sometimes in that split second, that small piece of time life as we know it changes forever bringing loss, pain. sadness and complete disbelief..Leaving us to ask how will I get through this moment ?
In every moment of our lives we can be effected or be the cause of an effect..
So, I ask that in this moment we take stock in the importance of moments..
Take that moment to hold the door for someone, to return a quick call or text,wait just an extra moment to leave the company of a friend or loved one with a smile..take that moment to see your blessings & accomplishments. Take a moment to be kind, take moment to say I love you, take a moment to say a kind word of support,take a moment to offer a hug or hold a hand when there are no words..
Take a moment to notice simple joy around you, take a moment to give comfort where sadness is in someones eyes & heart. Take a moment to listen, truely listen to those you love..Take a moment to remember All the important moments in your life.
Take a moment to breathe and give thanks for all the moments you have been blessed with so far..
Take a moment to see how precious a MOMENT truely is..
I hope in this moment you find yourself in the presence of Peace & Love..
|Posted on September 14, 2014 at 11:25 AM||comments (0)|
Through out our lives we inevitably expierence loss of many knds, The "loss" of a loved one is the "loss" I want to focus on today.
How many times have we all said " I am sorry for your loss" or said " I lost my loved one " ?
For some it seems it has been far to often....As for me personally the list of those who have passed is long & lengthly. With varied circumstances. But, there is one constant in them all, the constant is I can no longer physically touch,see, hear them..there are many times when that has felt unbearable.
But, if I think of their passing as a transition and not an ending then the term Lost doesnt really seem to fit. The word loss implies something/ someone cannot be found. Our loved ones can always be found within our hearts,our memories, our very being.. Just as our love for them never leaves us, their love for us does not ,will not and cannot ! leave us.. Love is an emotion and emotions are energy and energy cannot stop vibrating( science proved this)
If I remember to think & feel in terms of the love that is apart of the fabric of every relationship then I can be comforted in the knowing that I am still connected to them, just in a different vibration.
Think about it this way if our childhood home burnt to the ground tomorrow and not one scrap of it was recognisable does that mean that it took with it everything about your childhood and you can never be apart of it again? Of course not because we all understand and accept that it was just " a building" and just because its no longer there does not mean that part of our history no longer exsist.
We all have relatives & friends that we go years with out physycally seeing or talking to and yet we understand we are still connected.
Thats how I choose to see the transition/ passing of someone I love .. the building they once lived in is gone true, but, what I feel for them, my history with them and the emotional ties are ALL still there..they are NOT LOST they are simply in a new location. I know the address & number to find them at .. they live on Heavens Lane at #143, the number is 1-444-my-heart ( 4's are for Angels)
I know and trust that they are still apart of my life every day.. they just do it long distance..
So no my friends, family & yes pets are NOT LOST I did NOT LOOSE them..I know where they are and they will reamin at that address waitng to catch up with me for as long as it takes me to make my journey and transition...Holding this as my truth I am comforted.
I will still have moments, days, times when I ache for them to be physically present..but, the sadness that goes with it passes much easier in knowing that they are close by sharing in it all and when I listen with my heart I can hear them softly whisper I'm right here ... I'm always here..
Next time that ache for someone you miss & love rises up.. try taking a deep breath imagine them at their new address and listen with your heart and feel their love..and let that fill the place that holds the ache..
|Posted on September 14, 2014 at 11:15 AM||comments (0)|
Posted on Friday, July 05, 2013 9:39 PM
I find myself more often than I would like having little or no patients for rudeness & just general unkind behavior from people I need to interact with lately.
Which has led me to do some re-assessment of my vibrational set point.
I had to ask myself "Why is this getting me so worked up?" Because to be perfectly honest none of it is new,nor is that big of a deal. yet, it just Pushed my Buttons to the core.
So, I did what I often due,. I asked the Divine for guidance & support and A LOT of patients!
The message I got was, "it's at the core.". Hmm core of what ? the situation? the event? the person ? Well, for me it was all of these and MY CORE
So often we get caught up in life's everyday demands that we just allow ourselves to take in and hold onto so many minor annoyances until they hit the tipping point and then little by little it starts, I am short with my words, frustrated easily, and find my self thinking who is this person I'm hearing talking like this ? I don't treat people like that ?
Yup that's when I know my last Button has been pushed..I spent some time looking at this cycle that comes far too often for my own comfort lately. These are the questions I asked myself in hopes to find my balance & humanity again.
What is it about the way I was just spoken too that caused such an intense response?
I will give you an example:
I had sent a message to a client that I was to meet stating I was running late and we needed to adjust the meet time, I received an OK as a response. three minute prior to our meet time I began receiving multiple text, email and voice mail stating his displeasure in my tardiness( remember I sent him the earlier message) SO why as I looked at my phone did his lack of patients make me so angry ? There was no need for me to be upset, I was not in the wrong. Yet, I was feeling the need to defend myself fearsly!
Simple really, it goes to the core, self worth and the need to be respected. The more I looked at this issue, the more I could see how this had been a theme of sorts for my journey here this time. I was being given the opportunity to grow.( AGAIN lol)
I could feed into his energy and need for self importance or I could simply stand in my quiet truth. The choice was mine.
Question 2: How can I respond in away that honors me & my journey ?
Answer: Simply choose to see my own buttons and heal them, then they cannot be pushed.
Sounds simple right ?
We all know from expierence it's not. In order to heal or repair our loose, worn & dangling buttons we have to first be ready and willing to see the damage as it truly is, not as we would like it to be...and that my friends for me and my guess is many of us can be painful, uncomfortable, and very hard work. But, SO worth the effort.
Once we repair our worn and dangling buttons, they are stronger than ever. holding our coat of protection created with self worth ,love and peace tightly fastened and shining brightly.
Tonight I am grateful that someone " pushed my buttons" if they hadn't I may have let them fall completely off before I looked at them with open honest eyes, and by then they may have been lost, impossible to repair leaving just a scar of what could have & should have been tended too with light & love long ago.
So, my friends.. how are your buttons doing ? Is time to do some mending ?
Even if during the mending the needle my prick a finger or two, the intial pain or discomfort will fade quickly and the end result will be stronger and more secure buttons connected to the fabric of your core..
Enjoy your mending my friends
|Posted on September 14, 2014 at 10:40 AM||comments (0)|
Posted on Friday, May 03, 2013 3:30 PM
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mummy,Ma .. no matter the spelling of the word we all know who we are talking about when it is said. Today I want to share my perspective of the journey I shared with my Mom and those who took on many facetts of that role in my life so far.
My childhood memories up until about 14 have a few notable events mostly birthday parties & holidays, I have a few photos of myself in a pretty party dress and a fond memory of cooking & lots of food. My Mom worked ALOT I can remember her having 2 sometimes three jobs. In my teens life was changing and challenging, She was changing, I couldn't put my finger on it but, there was something..She never raised her voice nor her hand to any of us( I have 3 brothers), she never put herself first or played the victim role, she welcomed everyone in our home amd was quick to share any & all that we had.
That is how I learned the lesson of compassion and charity. I have taught my boys the importance of this lesson and I am so proud of them.
My relationship with her as I remember it was not one of open easy communication, or overly effectionate and many times it felt distant.. yet I always knew I was loved. She was strong, resilient, smart and sometime ridged and unmovable. She was also very tolerant of other peoples short comings & mistakes.
By the time I was 19 her mental state had become more than a challenge and for many years after that, in fact right up to the day her spirit left this earth.
As I look back on it all I realize how her choices, her journey has allowed me to grow in so many ways. Of course when I was in the thick of it and it was overwhelming, and frightening & frustrating at best, I could not see any good in the kaos and tears not back then..
Its been nearly 20 years since Mom crossed over, and although it has taken along time, I can now see the gift in the journey..
Because I felt my Mom did not communicate well with me, I have made a point to always talk to my kids, to be honest & open with them( sometimes more than they would like lol).. thank you for that lesson Mom.
Because we never took family trips.. I made sure my boys and I would take what I called mini-vacations 2-3 days away twice a year and now those memories are amoung my most priceless.Thank you Mom for teaching me the lesson of how important it is to make time to be together as a family.
Because you worked all the time, I learned the importance of a strong work ethic, I also learned the importance of balancing that with your family life.
I have taught that lesson to my boys, thank you Mom
Because you put your personal life & needs last, I learned that I did not want to teach my boys that putting themselves & their needs last and being a people pleaser is what you need to do to be loved by anyone, I now understand that if I am not important to myself and love myself ,I send the message that I don't deserve to be love.. thank you for teaching me that taking care of myself is not selfish it is self love. I have tried to teach this lesson to my boys. Thank you for the lesson
Because she kept it ALL inside, and just smiled and kept up appearance of everything is wonderful.. I learned that you can't receive help & support if you never let anyone know you are in need. SO, now I ask, I am honest & open with those I love about my needs and fears..Thank you for teaching me the importance of trusting enough to be open and to ask for help. I have tried to teach my boys this lesson by example.Although I do admit it has been one of the hardest for me.
There are many more lessons that many women who willingly took on parts of the role of "Mother" in my life and taught me about, forgiveness, charity, acceptance, faith and strength and I am grateful for All of you.. I am a better Mom and person because of the love & lessons you taught me... especially the hard ones.
So, as Mothers Day approaches .. take a moment to look at the challanges in the relationship of the Mother in your life.... see the gifts in it All learn from them, grow from them.... and take a moment to say thank you for givng you the opportunity to choose what kind of ' Mom" you want to be, you don't have to give birth to be a Mom, you simply need to be willing to make the journey with that child, teen, adult..because no matter our age we ALL need the role filled for us as we learn to fill that role for someone else..
Mom thank you for showing me the paths I did not want to follow and the courage & determination to walk the path I did want..